With or Without it
I've been doing some thinking about love. The Sex and the City Movie kind of started it and also I seem to encounter a lot of interesting opinions about it. Check out this one. WTF. Way to make a rainy Thursday slightly more shizer Sarah Hampson.So while the SATC movie was filled with amazing fashions (Eiffel Tower bag anyone?) and endless hilarious fun it also, when pondered more thoroughly as I am wont to do, made me feel kind of depressed? Obviously anyone who knows me knows I'm a die-hard pessimist (get over it), but it wasn't a stellar conclusion. If you really look at all of the relationships in the movie you'd have to wonder, well how appealing were any of those? Is that really the best there is? Seriously? Okay well then I'm not in for that, because that sucks. Large.
The imperfection of it all makes me feel more disgruntled than sad. Without giving too much of the movie away, the ending left one woman with a distant "guy-that-you-broke-up-with-ten-years-ago-that- you-should have-left-in-the-past-because-he-doesn't-love-you" type of guy that she had to coerce into matrimony, one with a cheating not-so-appealing guy who had to coerce her back into a relationship, one girl seemingly single and fabulous until she's too old to have random sex, and one with a husband who is nice and all but is not someone you aspire to be with because he's kind of gross and creepy. So I'm mean but those are my shallow and rude observations.
Obviously the movie played on the Cinderella theme. I'm sure many others have had these sentiments before but did someone think all those romantic stories up just to mess with women? Do men feel the same way? Why in God's name did my parents let me read stories like that, watch movies like that (Disney does it again) if it was never going to be replicated in real life? If it was only going to be hard work and compromising and settling and no glass slipper, prince or perfection?
In Sarah Hampson's article above she talks about people who "settled for less." So it seems that the alternative to dying alone and childless is marrying someone who is okay, mediocre at best and trying to produce a life out of just getting along. Wow that sounds amazing doesn't it? Why don't they make more fairy tales and romantic movies about that? Because that SUCKS. I understand there are many places in the world where arranged marriages happen and people do find happiness but I just don't get it.
And now back to where I started. Basically the SATC movie made me feel like love was so imperfect. And I know it can be and will be at times. I know relationships and marriages can be hard work but sometimes the work is worth it if the person cares about you enough to not do stupid things that break your heart. How can people settle for cheaters, people they have to change for, plead with, or coerce into caring?
And that, damn it, that makes me an optimist.
And now for some fun. Check out these amazing photos. They make me happy.
posted by Kate @ 3:51 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, that's a depressing article, but I like her conclusion:
"Ms. Gottlieb is right that marriage is no passionfest. It is hard work, just like being single. But that is why you should start it off by being madly in love. Feeling a romantic connection with another person is one of the lovely privileges of being human, and the memory of that initial romantic spark can sustain you through the rough patches."
I think that holds your answer, too. You shouldn't settle for an "okay" guy. Fall head over heels - just be prepared for a little work if you want to keep it as romantic and as wonderful as the day you met.
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