....is a highway
Every time something doesn't work out I feel like running. Like I don't really have anyone or anything stable anyways so I might as well hop on a plane, get in a car, throw some things in a pack and just run. I find it to be much easier than having to face this sort of imminent doom of eventually being alone or uncertain. Because if you never stay in one place you can blame it on that. A lot of people do. And when I have good days I can see why people stick around. Because you could have weekly plans, a set date with a set activity, a specific corner of a specific bar where you meet every saturday night with old friends. That always seemed so terrifyingly static to me but maybe it could feel really comforting. But when I have bad days I figure why bother? Nothing is here for me so I might as well just keep on moving.
Like a vagabond who plans on escaping reality for as long as possible. There are lots of them wandering around and I always wonder about them, how they keep moving, when they will slow down.
I think that's what's so amazing about travelling. You instantly bond with the people around you because you're stuck on a ferry, or on a plane, train, tro-tro and everything is new and different all the time so it's exciting. But it's also exhausting. I wish I was feeling well enough to go somewhere but at this point I can barely make it to work every day.
I just miss the feeling of being utterly alone and yet not, because around the next corner is another backpacker, another beautiful sunset over a different land, and then suddenly you're more alone than you've ever been in your life, thousands of miles away from friends and family but you're so complete and so happy without any of it. It feels like true freedom. There is no panic to fill your life with plans because you are somewhere outside of it all.
posted by Kate @ 2:35 PM
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